


Accessories

by sabinelagrande



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Cross-cultural, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-02
Updated: 2008-12-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 10:50:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabinelagrande/pseuds/sabinelagrande
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John tries to do a good deed, and this is the thanks he gets?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accessories

"I hate you so much," Rodney told him matter-of-factly, sitting primly in the co-pilot's chair- maybe it was the passenger's seat? John had never really been sure- of the puddlejumper.

"It wasn't that bad," John replied, though it was a complete and utter lie. It was easily the worst negotiation they had ever attempted.

From the back of the jumper, he could hear badly disguised snickering. "Ford," Teyla chided, very softly, but it didn't stop.

"How was I supposed to know they were going to react like that?" he snarled through clenched teeth, trying to keep his voice down.

Rodney let out an exasperated snort, which only served to piss John off more. Where did he get off acting so pissy, anyway? It wasn't like John had done anything _that_ embarrassing- he'd discreetly taken the high priestess aside and asked her- with extreme solemnity and respect for her religious traditions- if she might trade for any of the really very suggestive looking stuff from the temple. It was totally working, too, up until she asked him who he was going to use it on.

"They had a fertility idol in the middle of town, for christ's sake!" John continued.

"I think the fertility, _Major_," he snapped, venom positively dripping from the words, "should have been your first clue."

"Well pardon the hell out of me for not realizing they wouldn't be equal opportunity!"

"I can't believe you would even think-"

John cut him off. "All I hear out of you is 'tie me up' this and 'wouldn't it be nice if we had some toys' that, and bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!" From the back, Ford made a sound that was somewhere between laughing, exploding, and choking. John ignored him. "What did you want me to do? Wait until we found a planet with a Spencer's?"

Rodney rubbed his temples, looking seriously pissed off. "We were in _bed_. You're not supposed to actually take things that people say in bed seriously. You'll notice that I haven't gone down on you in the console room 'in front of god and everybody,' as you so eloquently put it, nor have I delivered Dr. Weir to your quarters all wrapped up in a bow!"

There was a thud as Ford fell to the floor, loudly guffawing and slapping his thigh. It almost- almost- drowned out Teyla's diplomatically soft, yet clearly uncontrollable laughter.

"Well, it's just as good we didn't get anything, isn't it? Cause it'll be a cold day in hell before I sleep with you again," John replied. "Now dial the fucking gate- and shut the hell up, Ford," he added, belatedly. He couldn't be out of that stupid puddlejumper fast enough.


End file.
